Having an Aged Care Conversation with your loved ones is tough, but there are a number of important steps you can take to ensure it’s a caring and productive one…
The festive season is a time of year when you may notice for the first time a decline in a loved one’s wellbeing. If that has been your experience in the recent festive season, it may be time to consider starting these important conversations. Subtle signs of ageing, such as changes in health, safety, or independence, can be easily overlooked during throughout the year as we’re all busy getting on with work, life, and other commitments. However, addressing these concerns early can prevent crises and ensure your loved one receives the support they need.
We’re here to help you recognise the signs of decline, approach sensitive conversations with care, and take proactive steps to plan for their future.
Recognising the Signs of Decline
Spotting changes in an ageing loved one isn’t always straightforward. Signs of decline can range from physical and emotional to cognitive and social. Look out for things like:
- Missed appointments or increased forgetfulness
- Unclean living spaces or personal hygiene lapses
- Weight loss or an empty fridge
- Unexplained bruises or dents in their car
- A lack of interest in hobbies or social activities
- A neglected garden or home maintenance
These indicators may suggest they need additional help. Addressing them early can prevent emergencies and ensure your loved ones feel supported, not overwhelmed.
Starting the Aged Care Conversation
Discussing concerns about a loved one’s ageing and health can be emotionally charged, but it’s an essential step in ensuring their safety and wellbeing. Approaching an aged care conversation with care, empathy, and preparation can help reduce tension and foster a productive dialogue.
Choose the Right Time and Place
The environment plays a critical role in setting the tone for such discussions. Choose a setting where your loved one feels comfortable, such as their home or a familiar, relaxed space. Eliminate distractions by turning off the television, putting phones on silent, and ensuring the conversation isn’t interrupted.
Timing is equally important. Avoid rushing into the topic during a busy day or family gathering. Instead, carve out dedicated time when both you and your loved one are calm and can focus on the conversation. A quiet weekend afternoon or a moment shared over tea can create the right atmosphere.
Be Compassionate and Respectful
Approaching the topic with compassion is vital. Begin with open-ended questions to invite them to share their perspective:
- “I’ve noticed you seem a bit more tired lately. How have you been feeling?”
- “Are there any tasks you’ve been finding harder to manage?”
Avoid pointing out changes in a way that might feel accusatory, such as “You’re always forgetting things” or “Your house is a mess.” Instead, frame observations as gentle concerns: “I noticed the fridge is looking a little empty—would it help if we stocked up together?”
Actively listen and acknowledge their feelings. Many older adults worry about losing independence or becoming a burden. Reassure them that seeking support is a positive, proactive step they can take to maintain their independence and enhance their quality of life.
Define What “Help” Really Means for Them
Many people in this situation may feel that “getting help” automatically means going to an aged care facility. It’s important to reassure your loved one that their preferences will guide decision making, and should that be to stay at home for as long as possible (as is often the case), then that’s what you will aim to help them achieve. The availability of home care packages and support services means that elderly Australians have access to a wide range of in-home support to allow them to remain at home for longer. So, while an aged care facility may be on the cards in the future, only in very rare circumstances is it the first move.
Involve Trusted Family Members
Sometimes, a one-on-one aged care conversation can feel daunting or overwhelming for both parties. Bringing in other family members your loved one trusts and respects can provide additional support. This might be a sibling, adult grandchild, or close family friend.
However, it’s crucial to ensure the discussion doesn’t feel like an intervention. Too many voices can make your loved one feel cornered or defensive. Instead, agree beforehand on who will join the conversation and what role they’ll play.
Be Patient and Realistic
Remember, this is often just the beginning of an ongoing journey. Your loved one may not accept help immediately or even acknowledge that they need it. Avoid setting rigid goals for the conversation, such as securing agreement to a specific plan. Formulating a more concrete plan can come in time.
Instead, focus on planting a seed. Offer them time to process and revisit the discussion when they’re ready. By keeping the tone gentle and supportive, you lay the groundwork for future progress. Gradually, they may begin to see the value in accepting help and feel empowered to take the next steps on their terms.
Planning Ahead: Next Steps
Once you’ve had the initial conversation and recognised that your loved one may need additional support, it’s time to act. Whether the conversation was productive or you notice urgent concerns that cannot wait, planning ahead is essential to ensure they receive the care they need.
Apply for an ACAT Assessment
An Aged Care Assessment Team (ACAT) assessment is the crucial first step for accessing government-subsidised aged care services in Australia. This process determines your loved one’s eligibility and identifies the types of services that could best meet their needs.
The application begins with an eligibility check, which can be done online or by calling My Aged Care at 1800 200 422. This initial step helps streamline the process and ensures your loved one is referred for an assessment promptly.
Assessments are conducted in person, typically at your loved one’s home, to provide a comfortable and familiar setting. During the assessment, healthcare professionals will evaluate their physical, emotional, and social needs, as well as their living situation at home, to recommend appropriate services. These may include in-home support, respite care, or residential aged care options.
Encourage your loved one to see this assessment as an opportunity to gain tailored support, rather than a judgment of their independence. Having this information early allows you to plan proactively and explore options together, ultimately leading to a better outcome and quality of life.
Understand Aged Care Services
After the ACAT assessment, you’ll receive a summary outlining the types of care your loved one is eligible for. Services may include:
- Home Care Packages: Offering help with cleaning, shopping, or personal care while allowing your loved one to remain at home (as is the wish of many Australians)
- Respite Care: Providing short-term care to give family carers a break.
- Residential Aged Care: If staying at home is no longer feasible, residential care can provide 24/7 support in a safe environment.
Understanding these services and their costs is vital for making informed decisions. Resources such as the My Aged Care website or aged care advisers can provide clarity and guidance during this process.
Create a Contingency Plan
Even with careful planning, life can be unpredictable. Health conditions may deteriorate suddenly, or logistical hurdles might delay accessing services. A contingency plan ensures your family is prepared for unexpected changes and can respond quickly without added stress.
Start by identifying backup options for care. For example, you might explore private care providers as an interim solution while waiting for government-subsidised services. Similarly, having a financial plan in place can prevent delays in securing urgent care.
It’s also helpful to keep important documents organised and accessible, such as medical records, ACAT assessment summaries, and legal documents like Enduring Powers of Attorney. Having this information at hand can save precious time in a crisis.
How Priority Advisory Group Can Help
Having an aged care conversation can feel overwhelming. At Priority Advisory Group, our Aged Care Financial Advice team provides important financial advice to ease the burden while making these emotional decisions. From understanding government support, navigating the various processes and pitfalls, helping you maintain your desired lifestyle, to defining your legacy aspirations – we’re here to help.
Contact us today to discuss how we can support you and your family through this journey.